The dating game changes drastically when you’re over 40 and you aren’t dreaming. Finding love without suffering heartache, pain, and confusion is tough for women over 40 because the challenges of dating are so specific.
When you’re in your 40’s, however, you’re not that different from anyone else. All that changes is that you’ve got more experience and a better sense of taste, as well as a lower tolerance for B.S. It’s already clear to you what you deserve. Take action.
The dating advice applicable to 20 somethings may not always fit your needs as a person over 40. The reason is:
In your 40s, you probably are not thinking about getting married and having kids. Whether you’ve been married, had children, or neither is true; if you’ve already been through this, it’s not a problem.
Since you were in your twenties, the dating scene has changed dramatically. The act of sexting. The front of texting. Dating online, and a speed dating event. Matchmaking is also possible. In the 21st century, all are viable options. You may be sabotaging your success if you lack the knowledge or belief that only losers would use these tools.
When you’re in your 40s, you don’t know who to date. Does dating men in their 30s make sense? Perhaps you feel you are not attracted to older men, the men online who might be most interested in you? Would it be necessary to find someone your age who can recite Gilligan’s Island lines right with you?
How would you describe your relationship goals? Is getting married on your mind? Are you considering having children? Would you like to find Mr. Boyfriend Material out of all the men out there?
Whatever your concerns, here are the keys to our advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips!
1. Make the most of your dating experience.
It doesn’t matter whether you recently went through a messy divorce or have been in several long-term relationships and are ready for a romantic relationship; you almost certainly have some dating experience (if not a great deal). It is essential for someone who has dated for over 40 years to take care not to “leak” any of their experiences, positive or negative, into any new relationship they enter.
Taking things you learned in past relationships with you is fine, but you may want to consult a dating coach before putting them into practice! When you don’t have a clean slate before you jump into the dating pool, making assumptions such as “It happened before, and therefore it will happen again” can impact your entire dating experience.
2. Step outside of your usual element.
Are you considering joining the online dating site that your friends have been urging you to join? What do you think? About one in four individuals in a committed relationship or married met their partner through an online dating site.
Please don’t underestimate the number of relationship-ready men out there, but don’t miss the opportunity to meet them! The following are excellent ways to meet great men: joining an online dating service, starting a new fitness regime, or joining a Meetup. Every Saturday night, do you go to a bar? Don’t just sit on the sofa; get active outside and online.
3. Describe honestly what you are looking for.
We hope you aren’t finding yourself saying statements like “there are no good men out there,” but if that is the case, get yourself out of that situation right away. The world IS full of incredible men!
If someone isn’t meeting your needs and have been open to communicating with them, you shouldn’t wait for them to meet your needs. There are so many incredible men just waiting to meet you.
Another way to find the perfect man is to make a list of what you want. But be careful not to eliminate people from your list because they lack something like “dresses all the time” nicely or “cooks like a gourmet chef.” Getting stuck in a “lack” mentality will keep you feeling powerless and stuck.
Once your confidence grows and you start believing that you deserve amazing, extraordinary men, amazing men will be drawn to you. You will attract men who seem to only care about you when you feel they are just “good enough.” Break the vicious cycle of an “inner nice” and get exactly what you want to be a partner in your forties.
Women over 40 should have fun more often: that’s the most important tip. Knowing what you want, knowing yourself, and what you are looking for in a partner isn’t tricky.
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